The Black Ao Dai (The Long Black Shirt)

Presenting....my first painting of a Vietnamese woman in a traditional Vietnamese dress, called the Ao Dai (literally Long Shirt) and pronounced: \ow zai\ with an upward intonation on the 'ow' and a downward intonation on the 'zai'. The Ao Dai is a two-piece dress, consisting of a long shirt and pants.  To me, this is the ideal dress because it comes with pants. Truth be told, I've always detested wearing dresses and avoid them at all costs but I actually enjoy wearing the Ao Dai. So, how convenient that it makes both me and my mom happy!

Since this was my first time painting, I wanted to choose something simple and easy to paint.  After contemplating what to paint for a couple weeks, a vision of one of my own modeling photos came to me.  The photo was taken by Miriam Daugherty on my very first photoshoot in Austin, Texas in May 2009. I had designed the dress when I was in Hanoi, Vietnam. I had chosen the color black, which is an unusual color choice for an Ao Dai dress because only older women, say over 70 years, might wear black and other dark shades.  Traditionally, young women wear Ao Dai of brighter colors and patterns to portray their youthfulness.  However, I wanted to design something a little bit more edgy and chic. The material is of thin flowy chiffon so that the sleeves and the waist piece are see-through.  This adds to the sexiness of the dress. I also want to point out that the secret to the Ao Dai is that it 'covers everything, but hides nothing.' In other words, it is extremely form-fitting, flattering, and shows nothing but a small triangular area of skin through the side slit at the waist. And that, my male friends, although is a big tease, is the all-time sexiest part of the Ao Dai.

Painting is another artistic mission I've been nudged to pursue for a while by an artist friend of mine, JLaw and then I met Ruba, the beautiful neuro-linguist masseuse Syrian painter.  She invited me over for an intimate painting party with 3 ladies, including myself.  I brought the wine (ladies love sweet so I chose a nice crisp Moscato). She provided the veggies and dip, art supplies and the rest is strictly confidential (except for our paintings, of course).

Over the last month, we had painting night once or twice a week either at my house or her house with a couple other ladies. Wine, tea, veggies and dip, fireplace, and painting - it was romantic, inspiring and quite simply, lots of fun!  One night, we were enjoying each other's company so much that we didn't even paint! There were four of us - dos Mexicanos, a Syrian, and a Vietnamese.  We are all in our early thirties, single, smart, strong, and attractive women.  And it got me thinking...mainly about how many independent, smart, talented, and beautiful women I know, how much I admire them and how much they inspire me.  So, really, this painting is a tribute to all the lovely ladies I know and all the ones I don't know yet, who make the world a better place.

The Black Ao Dai (the Long Black Shirt) by La Pham Nikita. Acrylic and ribbon.16" x 20". Not for sale. The red sash on the conical hat is a real red ribbon. I hope you enjoy the painting!  And if you like it, check back here for more because I am starting a series of Vietnamese Ao Dai paintings, and those will have a price, if you want one.

Note to self: Austin, Art, Attraction, and I

[note: this is kinda just a personal journal entry for myself - just my uninhibited unedited freeflow thoughts tonite.]

So I guess I took a mini sabbatical from blogging.  Over a month.  I finally found some down time to reflect on the whole past month or so of my life.  It's been a total crazy whirlwind of everything. I took a little break from drawing, henna, peacock bags, work, and overdosed during the holidays with family, travel, eating, knitting, skiing, dancing.  I've been deep in my self-conscience, mindful and alert of all the signs in the world around me and listening intently to the Universe speaking to me. Family has come back in my life so strong. Art speaks for itself. Love, and the endless search. Friends, cherished and more beautiful.  Passion.  Energy. The Secret. The Law of Attraction.

I've been wanting to write about this "law of attraction" I've been experiencing intensely for the last few months. My life has been kind of tossy turny to say the least. My heart was wounded. My job is boring but I can't complain. I was lost, still lost. I've turned to art for healing, expression, focus, meditation, relaxation, motivation, energy, passion, collaboration, fun, friendship and love. I can feel the energy all around me.  It gives me energy  and gets me all excited whenever I get myself into a project. Just ask my friends. There's proof in every person I'm meeting, family, friends and in all my travels, encounters, conversations.  I'm going to cram more than a month's worth of blogging into 1 long run-on sentence.  Here goes... from my brother, my dad, the sudden flood of emotions all directly related to the hours...days....weeks I've spent with my family this past year (it was good but intense, not including the funniest thing - they want me to go to dental school and they said they would pay for it), my encounters with Austinites (this is one of the reasons why I love Austin - all the cool people I've been meeting!).... the mysterious awe-amazing energy of a woman that bought my first piece of art, the henna peacock drum, the musician at the (my uncle's) Mi Bar on New Year's eve, Ella Reese's Pieces' birth, my hotshot famous artist friend, the beautiful and so talented painter, neuro-linguist Syrian masseuse that I instantly connected with at the Austin Asian Film Festival, my friendships with the pilllow designer, models, photographers, the fashion designers, the dreadlocked San Franciscan musician hitchhiker I picked up on my way to Houston the week before Christmas and the conversation I had with him, my cousin Lee's sweet friend that I met in Germany 3 years ago and took me skiing at Mt. Snow, Vermont, cooking with my mom, tennis with my niece and nephew, ice-skating with my cousins in Hartford, CT, karaoking with my cousins in Houston, my brother's mouthwatering and romantic foodblog, his awesome xray flower photography, his fiance Kim Dao's Jalapeno Poppers in a blanket (Vote for her too!), job searching, internet dating on eHarmony and Okcupid.com, the german-speaker, the salsa dancer, the journalist, the filmmaker, and so many more unidentified experiences and people yet to be known. I think that's a whole lot of attraction and creative energy going on in just a month or so, don't you think?  I had no time to pause and blog.  I was focused on living in the moment. I feel very lucky.

My current artistic venture is painting.  This is the first time in my life, seriously. Believe it or not. And I admit I'm scared.  I was scared of drawing. I'm also scared of painting. I vaguely recall helping an older schoolmate paint a mural on the wall for young kids after school.  That was maybe between the 7th and 8th grade. I'm starting with acrylic on canvas. It's a photograph that Miriam Daugherty took of me in my black Vietnamese Ao Dai and conical hat with a bold red sash. This was my first photoshoot.  The thing that really started the ball rolling in my world of creative experimentation and exploration.  My friend kept saying I should try painting and that I would like it.  He's right.  Now I'm painting with my lovely Syrian friend and she said I'm talented. I hope she's right too.  :)  I will post photos of it when I'm done.

My upcoming events:

I'm excited to say that I'll be doing henna tats and selling whatever art type stuff I can create at the Austin Reggae Festival, April 16-18, 2010.  I'll be sharing a booth with several other Austin artists, http://www.dracouni.com/. 

I'm also super honored to do my friends Ekta Shah and Anirban Chatterjee's wedding henna, the date is June 19, 2010.  I told her to submit their photo to the Austin360 Cutest Couple in Austin.  so please vote for them! Yes, they're the cute Indian couple. In fact, they're a smart techy couple and both not vegetarian.  This is my first wedding henna, yikes!! Super nervous.  Wedding henna tats are a big deal, majorly auspicious! And just think that all her Indian family and friends will see it and examine it?  OMG, I'm scaring myself. When I'm not nervous about it, I like to tease her and tell her I will sneak in 2 fishies into the henna design (fish is a symbol of fertility) and that I'll be extra careful to make them identical.  :) She says, "NOoooo!!! You better not! I will take 2 days off work and travel to Dallas...and experience a full-on traditional Indian wedding. Wow, that part is going to be freaking exciting!  I gotta get myself a Sari! In fact, my bollywood SRK crazy Indian girlfriend is working on getting it for me from India, right this moment...

It's half past midnight and the storm is rolling in.  It's thundering and lightning.  I want to be awake to hear it. It's pounding on the roof now.  I love it.  It makes me miss Hanoi.  I love Vietnam.

Ella Reese Michaud, Born December 27, 2009 in Hartford, CT.  6.1 lbs and a precious little 17 inches.  I knit her those snuggly soft booties and mittens in record time so she wasn't cold.  I think she's the Secret. I call her my little Reese's Pieces.

It's going to be an awesome year of art and attraction in Austin...Go Tiger!

He's definitely not into you...or maybe he's just not ready.

He's Just Not That Into You: by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Note to the Reader: I've always wanted to have my own love/relationship/sex column like Carrie Bradshaw and this is my attempt at writing a Sex in the City type column. Let's love lots and have fun with me! :) What should I call my column?  And thank you to all my wise family and friends who have supported me, shared their love, their stories, and gave their advice to me through my adventures of "dating" and finding the love of my life.

My book review: Ok, here's the real deal. This book can be harsh, obvious and even silly, but it is an enjoyable light read and there are a lot of good tips you can and should use, when applicable. AND, it gives both the guy and girl perspective, well-balanced and funny. I was dating someone I liked when I first read it and my reaction was, "OMG, they're totally describing my guy!" But, of course, I liked the guy and didn't want to believe that any of it applied to my situation. Well, now it's been 8 months of being single, "dating" and I've learned many lessons after reading this book and watching the movie. So, this post is a summary of my real live dating experiences in connection to the book He's Just Not That Into You, a personal journal entry for myself, and perhaps can offer a few wise tips for smart dating to minimize  negative impact on el corazoncito.  ***note: I know I'm risking a lot with past and current men I may be so-called "dating" and my future prospects but if it offends you, I'm sorry, it's not meant to. Also, I'm not scared because whoever loves me will love me for all that I am (and will see the love, humor, honesty and self-reflection in this post, even after they read this). Period.

My movie review: 4.5/5 stars, but then again, I love light-hearted romantic comedy chick flicks and I'm not ashamed to say it. So, go see it with your girlfriends or take your girl out. I promise you you'll get a good laugh. Just take it for what it is and you won't be disappointed.  Plus, there are a lot of famous actors and it's a Drew Barrymore-produced film.  Who doesn't love Drew Barrymore? :)

My dating credibility: I'm not an expert by any means, but I've been around the block...a few times. I've gotten out of a 3.5 year relationship earlier this year and even though I didn't want to date and don't even know what dating means, I somehow ended up "dating" several guys the last 8 months and still attempting it. Wish me luck! I'm also keeping an open mind about eHarmony and had membership for several months now, though I admit I'm not a very active member and haven't actually gone out on any dates yet. Nevertheless, it's a different approach, gives me more options, time-efficient, and it can't hurt, right? (except my bank account, but what's money if I find true love?)

My dating review of the last 8 months: It has surely been lots of fun and excitement (well, maybe not for my friends who went through it all with me), but also daunting and unfortunately led to some heartache.  It's all part of life, enjoying both the sunny days and the cloudy days for what they are. Some days I struggle but ultimately I know that I've met wonderful new people: male and female, shared love, laughter, conversations, chilled, danced, shared the love of art, food, culture, photography, music, pool, camping, biking, and all things Austin. I truly believe there's a reason why people connect in life.  And every person that comes into my life are special to me! So through the happiness and heartaches this past year, I've learned quite a bit about men and dating, but more importantly, a lot about who I am and what I'm looking for. I've learned from my experiences, my mistakes,  this book, and from consulting with friends (male, female, single, married, gay...the whole shabbam). I always do my research and have to have a well-balanced perspective on things. In reflection of my love life in 2009, I think I've learned a few things that I want to share with you before the year is over, ladies and gents alike.

Dating tips for the ladies:

Tip #1. You can show interest, but definitely let him pursue you.  How else would you REALLY know he's into you if you do all the work? I know, I'm one of those confident modern-day gals that likes to go after the guys I like, and it works most of the time, but it leaves you not really knowing if he would have pursued you if you didn't or you end up in a relationship where you love him more than he loves you. And in the long run, it doesn't work.

Tip #2. Go slow and be patient. This means don't reveal everything about yourself so fast, don't get physical right away, and don't always be available. Holding hands, hugs, kisses, and snuggling are all good but hold off on the sex until you really get to know someone and they get to know you. I have such a hard time with this one. I'm patient everywhere else but impatient when it comes to love and I'm really comfortable being open about myself. We women like to talk and share a lot but this can be overload for a guy in the beginning. Guys don't know how to take in all that information and what to make of you. Unfortunately, sometimes they can make judgments about you that are not accurate but that is because they haven't the chance to really get to know you and understand you yet.  About the sex part, don't mistake me for being old-school because believe me, I'm planets away from traditional. But, as women, we have to admit that most of us can get emotionally attached when we have sex with someone. Who wouldn't? We're not built like men. It is a very intimate thing to share with someone and unless you're a sex fiend like Samantha from Sex in the City, it is extremely difficult to separate mind (or heart in this case) and body.

Tip #3. Friends first and foremost. After all this time and having never had a relationship that started out as friends first, I realize now how important it is to build a solid friendship before getting hot and heavy in a relationship. Like they say, marriage without friendship is like building a house on sand. It's so true! If there's no foundation, it's bound to fall. I'm not married yet, but I can only imagine how a marriage can fall apart if you don't have a good friendship. That said, I know in reality it doesn't happen that way. Physical chemistry gets the best of us and it's what often happens first. It's the "butterflies in my stomach" feeling when we're instantly attracted to someone. We've all been there and done that. But, when you ask yourself how many of those relationships worked, I'm willing to bet they didn't last too long. When I look back at my relationship record, I have to admit that 4.75 out of 5 started off with physical attraction. And don't get me wrong, because I'll be the first to raise my hand and say that physical attraction and sexual chemistry with someone is very important. But sometimes friendships stay friendships or relationships become friendships.  In any case, friendships can blossom and are always a blessing because friends are what makes life beautiful and worthwhile. I know I couldn't live without my friends. It's not easy, but that's why you go back to tip #2! Go slow and be patient.

The bottom line is: If there's any uncertainty, he's just not ready. When he's ready, he will show it and you will know it! Or maybe you're also not ready. It may not be the right time. I really believe in the physics of time and how it factors into relationships.  Sometimes you just know. And sometimes it happens really slow.  I've yet to experience any of this, but I've witnessed it dozens of times with friends and I would swear by it. For example, my new favorite Indian couple friends that I have the honor of doing her wedding henna for. Congratulations!

Dating tips for the guys: (this part is easy!)

Tip #1. If you like her, go after her. It's flattering when someone shows interest in us. Just be polite, sweet, and genuine.

Tip #2. If you just want to get in her pants, be honest about it and make that crystal clear.  Sometimes we're ok with that and sometimes we're not. If you're lucky, then you'll get the "we're ok with that" girl and you won't have to deal with the messiness later. It's that simple.

Tip #3. If you don't want to continue dating her or being in a relationship with her, just be honest and respectful. I know you don't want to hurt our feelings, but we can handle the truth if it's done respectfully and sincerely. Communication is key.

Disclaimer: La Pham Nikita is not responsible for any dating disasters or broken hearts (and I'm so sorry, it sucks) but please let me know if you used my tips and found true love.  That would be so lovely to know! Now I just need to use my own advice....

***note to all the boys I've loved before:  Always my love, peace, and friendship. :)
To all my single lady friends, let's have fun together and share a funny story with me. :)

A Quick-y Turkey Chili

On a cold and wet day in Austin, there's nothing I crave more than a hearty and healthy chili that's quick and easy to make. I try to substitute turkey for beef whenever possible because it's a healthier option and you can't even tell the difference. (oh, and this is not the turkey left over from Thanksiving, haha!) Keep in mind that I don't usually cook with specific recipes so you need to trust your taste buds.  Don't worry, this is so easy you can't go wrong. So, in less than 45 minutes, you can have a hot savory chili to eat for yourself!

Ingredients:

1 package of ground white turkey (19.2 oz/1.2 lbs)
3 14.5 oz cans of chili ready tomatoes (you can use regular diced tomatoes as well)
1 15 oz can of red kidney beans
2 small yellow onions or 1 medium to large onion, chopped
*2 handfuls of chopped baby carrots (I like the added crunch and beta-carotene)
*2 stalks of chopped celery or 1 can of corn
4-5 cloves, chopped (I like a lot of garlic but you can adjust to your liking)
2-3 tablespoons ground cumin (adjust to taste)
2 tablespoons chili pepper or cayenne pepper (adjust to taste)
1 tablespoon olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

*optional:  I always add additional veggies if I have it and need to use it. It adds extra crunch and nutrition or if you like southwestern style chili

Cook the ground turkey on medium-high heat in a stock pot with olive oil, the chopped onions and garlic and season with the cumin and chili pepper.  When the turkey is cooked, add the 3 cans of tomatoes and the chopped carrots and optional veggies.  Let it simmer on low-medium heat for 15-20 minutes until the carrots are cooked but not too mushy (unless you like it mushy).  Strain and add the red kidney beans at the end so they don't get mushy. Salt and pepper to taste although you won't need much salt if you use the chili ready tomatoes. Add more cumin and chili pepper if you want more flavor and spice. I also add crushed red pepper or jalapenos because I like my chili spicy. Then enjoy with saltine crackers, shredded cheese, and/or bread. Or if you like it real southern, you can make it a Frito pie with corn chips.

Transformation...

The theme is "Transformation." How fitting as I feel like I've been morphing and transforming this whole year - from cooking to modeling, from aspiring entrepreneur to artist. I just submitted 2 experimental pieces of 12 x 12 x 2 wood panels for the Maranda Pleasant Holiday Art Box Show. Neither of my pieces turned out as I had envisioned, of course. Nevertheless, this is a tres cool art event that I'm happy and excited to be part of for the first time.   Art, food, wine, music. Perfect! I got a sneak peak and it's amazing to see how a 12x12 frame can be transformed into so many one-of-a-kind pieces of art!

I had spent a few weeks doing research and contemplating what kind of mediums to use: paper, pen, paint, natural dyes, henna, goatskin, and thick leather scraps. I asked lots of art questions and bounced my ideas with artists and friends. (Thank you!) I've been spending after hours at Jerry's Artarama, Tandy Leather Factory, and Hobby Lobby. In the last 4 weeks, I discovered Faber-Castell Pitt Artist Pens (instead of black Sharpie markers), rapidiograph pen sets, how to use and color gesso, how to stain and stretch goatskin with henna, coffee, tea, wine, and how to silkscreen. All of this is completely new to me and the projects were entirely experimental. I love the challenge of trying to do something I've never done before. Creating art is a risky business but the excitement of the unknown is thrilling. I think I am mastering the art of improvisation but I have a lot to learn in finding my creative voice.  What is art what is not?  ...if it moves you, it's art.

Reflections on my 2 experiments...

"Meditation in Space"

As I was drawing the mandalas, I was meditating on the theme of "Transformation" and the meaning(s) of mandalas. I love the symbolism and the depth of the meanings of a mandala: the circle of life, a microcosm and macrocosm of the universe, a tool for meditation... It's fascinating how all things in nature are mandalas from the very nucleus of our body cells, to flowers, to our solar system. (also check out the Mandala Project) For this piece, I was attempting to transform my henna skills into a piece of art and drawing the mandalas was helping me find my center. It is of mandalas in space of different sizes and drawn freehand with sepia ink pen. I painted and sanded 4 layers of gesso and colored the gesso with coffee and tea. That was fun! Originally, I had sketched a large mandala  in the center and one in each of the 4 corners. However, it turned out to be the opposite, a lot of white space and a few small random mandalas. This was a very mentally challenging project for me, especially because I had stayed up all night working on the henna pea-drum project and was already mentally and physically drained. I did not sketch a detailed drawing beforehand. I make it up as the tip of my pen touches the board. I had to be extremely focused with a perfect steady hand. It's being in a meditative space and a calm state of mind. It's finding patience and balance. The most difficult part of it all was knowing when to stop and let go. I could have spent hours adding layer after layer of details but I decided to stop when one of the mandalas got a little smeared. I was gutted but I had to accept it. I do like the simplicity and the contrast between the details of the mandalas and the openness of the white space. As Carl Jung might say, "it is a representation of my unconscious self." Forever transforming...

"Henna Pea-Drum"

I spent most of my time researching, planning, and testing this piece and had high hopes for it but I ran into a lot of obstacles along the way. It was a very long process involving heating whole cloves, a blowdryer, ammonia, henna paste, lemon juice/sugar sealant, and other miscellaneous stuff. I wanted it to be a warm henna peacock on a goatskin canvas illuminated like a lamp. But it didn't quite make it. While I was shopping for the light for my henna peacock lamp, the man at Home Depot said to me, "the project took on a life of its own, huh? That happens!" Art (and life) certainly has it's surprises! Even though you try to plan things out, things don't always happen as you hope and that's ok too! I guess I can say it's at least a drum with a henna peacock on it. Practical art. A Henna Pea-Drum. Why not? In fact, one of my favorite nights of all my travels was spent deep in the Sahara Desert camping, drumming, singing, and speaking English, Arabic, and French with Moroccans and Berbers.  Totally exotic and in the rough...!  I will not give up on the henna lamp and drum idea.

...and through all of this "art" world, what I appreciate the most...

the inspiration
the visual connections
the energy felt
the ideas exchanged
the vibes
the chemistry
the excitement
the chaos
the craziness
the dedication
the perfection
the support
the friendships
the passion and love of creative expression...