A Woman's Guide to Picking Up Hitchhikers

Let me guess what you're thinking...."What?!?! You PICKED up a HITCHHIKER?!? That's crazy!  You could've been killed!"  Yes, I picked up a hitchhiker and I know I could've been killed. Call me crazy. I'm a girl. I was alone. I could've been hacked into pieces, blah blah blah.  BUT before you REALLY think I'm crazy and stupid, let me tell you my story and then you can judge for yourself if I really am crazy and stupid. So this is how my awesome Houston hitchhiker story goes...

It was 6 days before Christmas. I had been listening to Christmas songs and dreaming  of a white Christmas. [Perhaps being in the Christmas spirit might have played a part in my impulsiveness that day, but then again, I probably would have done it anyway because I'm not that religious.]  I was on my way to Houston for a photoshoot and to visit family. Shortly after I started heading East on Hwy 290, I saw a guy sitting on the side of the road at the gas station, holding a sign that said, "To Houston (Montrose)." I didn't get a real good look at the guy or anything since I was in a fast moving vehicle.  But instantly, my unfiltered thoughts were, "well, I'M going to Houston. If there's someone that needs a ride, why not give him a ride?" Seriously, that was all I thought before I took the next turn-around and headed back to the gas station.   

Here's my perspective behind this: What if we didn't live in a society where we were inundated with depressing news of random shootings, murders, rapes, kidnappings, burglaries, terrorism, etc? What if there was no crime, no evil? What if we lived as humans should live together...in love, peace, and respect for one another? Imagine that for just a moment. [Seriously, pause and give it some thought. Close your eyes if that helps.] Then imagine a situation where you are driving somewhere and you saw someone who needs a ride to the exact same place you are going.  Would you even hesitate to give that person a ride? Would you even question for just a second that that person could be some crazy pyscho that will chop you up in pieces? I don't think so. If you're an average sane human being, your good Samaritan human instincts would tell you to do the right thing and give that person a ride.  It should be that simple, right? 


Now, imagine you're back in the real world. In two seconds, your mind would be flooded with paranoid thoughts of how you might be killed with an axe and buried in pieces, etc. If you grew up watching Freddy the 13th, Jason, Poltergeist, or Pet Cemetary, I'm sure you can conjure up all sorts of gory scenarios. [By the way, I don't like and refuse to watch horror movies because of this.] But, you won't immediately realize that those paranoid thoughts are precisely the result of our (crazy) society invading the purity and goodness of our human nature. Personally, I think that's sad and depressing to think that we live in a society that IS that scary -  that we are  afraid of helping a fellow human for the sake of protecting our lives. Honestly, I think THAT'S crazy. It just doesn't feel right to me. How would you feel if you were stranded one day and had to hitchhike for a ride?  Wouldn't you just want a kind person to give you a friendly ride and not think that you're an ex-convict axe-murderer going to kill them?


Ok, hopefully I made my point and convinced you that I'm not crazy.  But I haven't convinced you that I'm not stupid either.  You're probably thinking..."Get down from Cloud 9 you crazy girl because we DON'T live in your dream world and we DO live in a scary world. There ARE crazy people out there that will kill you." True. You're absolutely right. I'm not totally naive and stupid enough to think that I'm always safe from crime and evil and everyone out there is inherently good. So, I tried to be smart about it at least. 


This is my woman's guide to picking up a hitchhiker:

• He was young, under 30 years old. Plus, under all the facial hair, you could tell that he was good-looking but that doesn't matter. It was just a lucky bonus.
• He had dreadlocks. I know this is stereotyping but it's a good stereotype and I would bet my life (and I was right) that guys with dreads are hippie types that make peace, not war.
• He was dressed in pants held together by a whole bunch of patches, actually in several pants and in several layers of shirts. This means he was a serious hobo gypsy traveler type. I don't know about you, but they're my kind of people.
• He had a backpacker backpack. If they don't look like they're really traveling then you can assume they're in a different type of situation, though that doesn't eliminate the fact that they may still need help.
• He had a guitar. My theory is that musicians are creative, not cruel, nor criminals. Brilliant theory, isn't it?
• I also checked his I.D. He didn't have a license, but he had a passport. That says A LOT to me, personally.  He's smart enough to have a passport and even better that he's a worldly traveler. [The statistic varies, but according to an article in the New York Times, the State Dept. estimates that only around 27% of Americans own a passport.]
• He was just trying to see his good friend in Houston that he hadn't seen in a long time. I think that's simple and sweet.
• He was kinda stinky, but that was a good thing in this case. :)
• Given all that... I've backpacked and lived around the world by myself so trust me, I have enough experience (and never a bad one, thankfully). I can say with confidence that I trust my instincts. If you don't trust yourself, then who can you trust? [On a side note, I must say that of all the places I'ved lived and traveled in, the U.S. is the place that I feel the most unsafe. Just something to ponder.] 

So do you still think I'm stupid? Perhaps. But anyway, you know that the story doesn't end with me being chopped up and buried in the bushes somewhere in BFE, Texas. To continue with the story, I picked up the hitchhiker and we shared a deep conversation about life, art, music, kids, travel, etc... We listened to Pink Floyd and had an enjoyable ride to Houston. He kept me company, we had great conversation, I got him safely to his destination, and even met his friend. In fact, I am even Facebook friends with both of them! Needless to say that I didn't do it to get anything out of it, but I was rewarded for my good deed with a bowl, Jim Beam, and VIP seats to good live music.  However, I am absolutely positive that my real reward will come as good karma in disguise at some point, if not already. Besides that, it simply felt good to help someone out and make him happy...and not just one person, I made two people happy.  They literally jumped for joy and hugged and screamed like little girls when they saw each other.  And it really really touched me and made me so happy to see two grown boys hugging like that! So, as crazy and stupid as it may have been, I followed my heart and I know I did the right thing.  Love, Peace, and Happy Hitchhiking!       

Disclaimer: For your safety, La Pham Nikita does not encourage women (or men) to pick up hitchhikers and even if you do, I cannot guarantee an experience as pleasant as mine.  But if you choose to do so, please be safe and use good judgement.  I don't do it regularly or pretend to think it is a smart and safe thing to do for a single woman, but I just trust my instincts that much and consciously choose to live my life this way, as pure and good-hearted as possible, uncontaminated by society, seeking adventure at my own risk and hitchhiker-friendly. But, I will probably delete this post when my children are able to read.  This is just a post to stimulate your thoughts and provoke some conversation about the society we live in and how it affects our thinking and our human relationships.

Caption: This is the photo of the hitchhiker and his friend.  They were both extremely talented musicians and I was lucky they didn't chop me up, but instead sang and played beautiful music for me. How blessed am I?

The Black Ao Dai (The Long Black Shirt)

Presenting....my first painting of a Vietnamese woman in a traditional Vietnamese dress, called the Ao Dai (literally Long Shirt) and pronounced: \ow zai\ with an upward intonation on the 'ow' and a downward intonation on the 'zai'. The Ao Dai is a two-piece dress, consisting of a long shirt and pants.  To me, this is the ideal dress because it comes with pants. Truth be told, I've always detested wearing dresses and avoid them at all costs but I actually enjoy wearing the Ao Dai. So, how convenient that it makes both me and my mom happy!

Since this was my first time painting, I wanted to choose something simple and easy to paint.  After contemplating what to paint for a couple weeks, a vision of one of my own modeling photos came to me.  The photo was taken by Miriam Daugherty on my very first photoshoot in Austin, Texas in May 2009. I had designed the dress when I was in Hanoi, Vietnam. I had chosen the color black, which is an unusual color choice for an Ao Dai dress because only older women, say over 70 years, might wear black and other dark shades.  Traditionally, young women wear Ao Dai of brighter colors and patterns to portray their youthfulness.  However, I wanted to design something a little bit more edgy and chic. The material is of thin flowy chiffon so that the sleeves and the waist piece are see-through.  This adds to the sexiness of the dress. I also want to point out that the secret to the Ao Dai is that it 'covers everything, but hides nothing.' In other words, it is extremely form-fitting, flattering, and shows nothing but a small triangular area of skin through the side slit at the waist. And that, my male friends, although is a big tease, is the all-time sexiest part of the Ao Dai.

Painting is another artistic mission I've been nudged to pursue for a while by an artist friend of mine, JLaw and then I met Ruba, the beautiful neuro-linguist masseuse Syrian painter.  She invited me over for an intimate painting party with 3 ladies, including myself.  I brought the wine (ladies love sweet so I chose a nice crisp Moscato). She provided the veggies and dip, art supplies and the rest is strictly confidential (except for our paintings, of course).

Over the last month, we had painting night once or twice a week either at my house or her house with a couple other ladies. Wine, tea, veggies and dip, fireplace, and painting - it was romantic, inspiring and quite simply, lots of fun!  One night, we were enjoying each other's company so much that we didn't even paint! There were four of us - dos Mexicanos, a Syrian, and a Vietnamese.  We are all in our early thirties, single, smart, strong, and attractive women.  And it got me thinking...mainly about how many independent, smart, talented, and beautiful women I know, how much I admire them and how much they inspire me.  So, really, this painting is a tribute to all the lovely ladies I know and all the ones I don't know yet, who make the world a better place.

The Black Ao Dai (the Long Black Shirt) by La Pham Nikita. Acrylic and ribbon.16" x 20". Not for sale. The red sash on the conical hat is a real red ribbon. I hope you enjoy the painting!  And if you like it, check back here for more because I am starting a series of Vietnamese Ao Dai paintings, and those will have a price, if you want one.